April 23, 2013

Worth It?

I am just two months shy of my first year of employment as an arts administrator.

This year has been crazy. A whirlwind. Full of emotions. Sometimes I have to remind myself to sit down and breathe. 

There are so many things that have fallen by the wayside this year, due to the fast-paced nature of my job. I haven't been home in a year. Didn't spend any holidays or birthdays with my family. Haven't taken any sick days or personal days since I started in June. I haven't remained in contact as much as I would have liked with my friends.

I'm exhausted. We produced six operas this season. I've witnessed six casts of amazingly talented artists go through a rigorous rehearsal, performance and touring performance process.

Sometimes I ask myself if everything is worth it. Are all the sacrifices worth it? Is missing time with D worth it? Is working an average of 50-60 hours a week for the peanuts that I'm bringing home in my paycheck worth it? 

But then I think about opening night, and how the Chorister's faces glow when we yell out to them "Toi, Toi, Toi! Happy Opening!!" Or when one thoughtful young artist writes a note thanking me for always being there to talk when she needs it. And I think about when we get to see those weeks of rehearsal turn into success on the stage, and then be recognized by others. 

Through the course of this year, I have learned so many things. For one, I could not have gotten through it without my main man by my side. And no matter how difficult my job may get at times and no matter how tired I may be, I love my job--so it's worth it.

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