July 2, 2014

10 Inappropriate Things to Say to Someone Who Isn't Married (Yet)

Dave and I have been dating for 8 years and aren't married yet.

I know. Stop the presses. For some reason,  to some people this seems like the end of the world. I mean to us it just seems natural. We started dating when we were 16, and then we went to different colleges. Since we graduated, we have now been living together for 2 years.

Do we want to get married? Yes, when the time is right. We both know that we are the only one for each other, and feel that not much will change for us as a couple when we do get married. But do we feel rushed down the aisle? Not really. We are happy with where we are right now, and would like to really save a little bit of money before we have a wedding.

I thought it would be funny to compile a list of comments or questions that Dave and I have heard in the past. SO. Here is a list of 10 things that you could say to someone who isn't married if you want to make them uncomfortable.

  1. "Why would he buy the cow if he is getting the milk for free?" This is a little bit insulting. First of all, you just called me a cow. Second of all, I'd like to think that Dave likes me for more reasons than "the milk...."
  2. "It's just time for him to shit or get off the pot." This is kind of funny, but really? Thank you kind sir for your advice, but no thanks.
  3. "Clocks ticking... You two aren't getting any younger!" This is an accurate statement. Time does only move forward.
  4. "So do you guys believe in marriage?" Yes  And I also believe that we will one day cure cancer, that the arts are significantly underfunded, and in the power of retail therapy.
  5. "Don't you want to give your parents grand babies?" Now, Dave and I are both 24... there is plenty of time to think about having babies.
  6. "Are you just one of those modern couples who just live together and never marries?" No, but would it be so bad if we were? There are so many different life styles today, what if we wanted to live that way.
  7. "You are just too absorbed in your careers." I have no words. Even though Dave and I are both career driven, doesn't mean that we don't love each other unconditionally.
  8. "I can't believe you guys have been together that long and aren't at least engaged yet." This is just weird to me. It makes it sound like there is some pre-set timeline that everyone should be on. I mentioned before that Dave and I started dating when we were in high school. And then we went to college. I mean, we were 16 year old babies back then!
  9. "I would just give him a deadline if I were you." Right. Because that doesn't sound incredibly insane and wrong.
  10. "You know you are living in sin, right." Yep. Fully aware. And actually these past two years of living in sin have been two of the the most fun years of my life.

The list could really go on. At this point we have heard them all. I'm sorry that this was a complete and total snark fest, but really people... act like you been somewhere.

Have you ever had people ask or comment about your personal life in an inappropriate way?


  1. #8 always gets me. It's like, if the relationship is anywhere over the one year point, people want to see a ring or something.

    Tell ya what...Keep living in sin, especially if the past two years have been the greatest!

    1. Seriously! Anytime we go anywhere people ask us about it. It is getting to be a lot of pressure.

      Thanks for the support! I appreciate it :)

  2. People will always say things before thinking... Marriage like anything in life is only something the two of you can plan and decide when it is or isn't the right time.. It is no one else's business. I was single for 40 years before finding my husband and getting married.. and you should have heard the statements that were said to me and even after I got married. Good for you to do what makes it best for you guys..

    1. That's true, most of the time I really don't think they know how they come across. Thank you for the support! :)

  3. Omg! This post is amazing. aha. This is one thing me and boyfriend talk about all the time because so many people have so many questions when they ask about the future. We're only 20, I just feel like it'll happen when it's meant to happen. I don't need to worry about it, just enjoy the moments till we get there, and if something happens that we don't then I'll figure it out. I don't know why some people think there's a rush to get married. To them it may sound perfectly fine and logical to say these things but it comes off as rude and invasive.

    1. That's exactly what my boyfriend says. He says to just ignore them.

      I'm glad you enjoyed this! I was a little hesitant to post it, since I didn't want to offend people! :)

  4. The most inappropriate comments EVER came from my biological father (in his 4th marriage, btw). Back story: my husband and I lived together for seven years and had two children out of wedlock - believe me, the comments get more frequent and inappropriate when children are involved! Anyway, husband was ok with getting married, but wasn't pressuring me. He knew I wasn't ready and it was a non-issue for him. So my father, no at all knowing our circumstance says, "Well, just keep showing him what a good wife you will be and maybe one day he'll come around."

  5. Ugh! That stinks!! I wish that people could just be supportive. Don't get me wrong, there are those that are very supportive, but then there are those that continually go on and on with their rudeness.

    Thanks for visiting!

  6. Hey there! Just found this via Lindsay since we are sponsor buddies over there. Oh man do I feel you on this one. My BF and I have been together over 4 years and living together 2, so I get these comments all the time! I can't imagine with the dating even longer thing! Why are people so concerned with something that is none of there business? It's our life, our relationship, our timeline. Do you just smile and shake it off, or do you have some fun comebacks for these people?

  7. People are the worst. You're only 24. It's not like you're pushing 40 and the biological clock is actually ticking (even though it still wouldn't be anyone else's business if this were the case).

    I feel like some people are still stuck in "the old days" when couples were expected to get married and reproduce at really young ages. We all move at our own pace. Heck, some people never get married and that's fine by them. As long as the people in the relationship are happy with the trajectory of things then it's really no one else's concern.

  8. I love this! I hate hearing each of these sayings... ESPECIALLY the cow/milk one. I always feel like saying "My boyfriend loves the cow and the milk, but respects me enough to not refer to me as a cow or milk. You should follow his example." And I have to agree, despite how some may not like it - "living in sin" with my boyfriend has been one of the most fun times of my life!

  9. I totally agree! We have been living together for about three years now and it has been the most fun time! I feel like we are totally ready for marriage!


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